3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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