What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Houston, we have a blender
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
