I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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