At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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