he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize