he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
