Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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