actually, I'm a sock model
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
