A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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