I feel like I'm in dance class right now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
