WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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