My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
