He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
