she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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