Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
