i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
