My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize