her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
