fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
