I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
