Betty ford says i'm here all night
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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