I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
