Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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