I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
