i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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