I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Say something about gay babies.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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