Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
