If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
