Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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