my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
