We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
