She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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