you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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