There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
