The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
