my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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