that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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