I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
