all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
