"it" just moved
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
