Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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