I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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