yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
These tits shall not be calmed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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