Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
