Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
