Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
