How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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