im having a threesome with these popsicles
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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