Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
