I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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