Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just forgot I was standing up.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
