Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I love you. Go after that dick
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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