Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the day after is always just damage control
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
