when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
