You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
