there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
