How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
