yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
