would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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