i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
