ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize