Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
