Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
