it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
