how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My hand turned me down
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
