You work out of a Hotel?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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