halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
