I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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