omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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