Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
