I bet he comes in French.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i drank out of a bidet.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize