I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm having to shit out rocks
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
