I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
