I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize